I bid fair warning to any man who considers dating an Eastern European Woman by means of darting agencies. The process is so rife with corruption and full of bastards who will take every dollar, euro and grievna that they can get their hands on. This is my 4th time to Ukraine and I thought that I had a good idea of how the business works but this trip has been an eye opener.
Last night I had drinks with a Ukrainian friend who used to run an agency. It was one of the few honest agencies in town and now that it is closed there seems to be nowhere for the regular guy to turn. My friend gave me some priceless information over a glass of whisky and I will share it with you – for free. But first, let me tell you about last night’s date.
This is Polina. And she was every bit as beautiful in person as in this photo. According to her profile she speaks “intermediate” English and you can imagine my surprise when she showed up with an interpreter; she needed “hello, how are you?” translated. I’m sure you get the idea.
Translator = US $15 per hour
We had a 4pm Saturday date. I just want to sit down to talk to see if this 23 year old is as serious as her profile says she is.
She isn’t. She has no aspirations for a Western boyfriend or husband outside of where he can take her on Saturday night and how much he can spend on her.
The interpreter informs me that Polina wants to go this chic restaurant because “she has never tried champagne at ‘this restaurant.'” That was the first warning sign, more followed. As I asked questions about her life and life goals and desires, she kept probing about where we were going next: would it be the Arcadia club district, out to the casino or some new nightclub. It then occurred to me that she AND the interpreter were dressed in cocktail dresses and both had their hair done. They came together in the same cab and left together in the same cab. When I ended the date the interpreter was as disappointed as my date was. In hindsight it seems obvious that they had a grand night planned and I was the deep wallet to pay for it all.
When the waitress came I nixed the champagne but this didn’t stop them both from ordering a glass of wine, glass of water and a terramisu each. This was all done in Russian and I didn’t know half of it until the food arrived.
After a few dates like this my patience has worn thin and I’ve ended them. So many have dragged on for 3 hours with hundred dollar restaurant bills. Including the interpreter that comes out to $150 – a lot of money when you can eat a nice “normal” meal for $15.
I wrote to one girl for a year and when I arrived she disappeared. Many of the girls that I wrote to – once I met them in person – couldn’t tell what they had said or even know who wrote first. Many thought I had made first contact and they were flattered – interesting because I was under the same assumption.
I received a “I’d like to get to know you” email from a woman who I had been corresponding with for 9 months! One woman emailed me and 6 months later sent the same exact email – word for word.
So then who was I writing to? Clearly not these women. Some secretary or interpreter at the agency is writing the letters. My agency is merely a broker – a go-between who links to the women’s profiles of other agencies. I’ve found this same sort of unscrupulous behavior at each of the 5 or 6 referring agencies.
Now mind you, I’m being VERY cautious and skeptical and I’m still fallng into pitfalls. Many (most) of the western men here are clueless losers who have no game whatsoever. They happily go on date after date thinking they are relationship building when in fact they have as much chance as they would getting laid in a strip club.
Back to my Ukrainian buddy. Last night he told me that it is common practice for agencies and interpreters to encourage girls to go out with men that they don’t like in order to split the interpreters commission. The agency gets the referral fee and of course looks the other way. The girls get to eat at fancy restaurants, drink champagne, go to the latest nightclubs and then split the terps commission – a lot when you consider that the average wage is about $250 a month. This explains why no one wants to use my interpreter.
Can you find love here? Yes; my Heather Graham lookalike (perhaps the prettiest girl I’ve ever dated) wanted a long term commitment from me before I broke contact with her. But this process has been with cost. If you make the trip out here you can avoid some pitfalls by following a few rules:
1. Don’t EVER write letters to Eastern European Women. Isn’t it strange that you can’t have their contact information? It’s because you aren’t talking to them, you are talking to some manager, secretary or interpreter who is probably a man! The agencies will give you some IMBRA nonsense – please, since when do Ukrainians care about US law?
2. Better yet, about a month before you come out, post your profile and on arrival set dates with women who liked your profile. In my case, 1/2 of the women who initially mailed me didn’t even exist. 3 of 4 that did were only wanting to date to split the commission – they had no intentions of finding a western man – most of these women don’t want to even leave Ukraine. Writing letters is a joke and a waste of time. I know that many of you will ignore this advice and later you will remember and wish you had listened.
3. ONLY meet English speaking women. Forget your delusions, it isn’t going to work if you can’t talk. Meeting English speaking women cuts the interpreter out of the equation – this is half the battle from the onset.
4. Refuse demands or requests for extravagant meals, fluffy drinks, ritzy cafes and clubs and nights on the town. If she is sincere about finding a husband these things won’t interest her. I had one date (two years ago and introduced through the honest agency mentioned above) and the girl was reluctant to order anything in the restaurant we were seated in. I told her to order and she said, “But I don’t want to take advantage.”. That is the type of girl that you are looking for. Any woman who orders an $8 Mojito without even asking your permission is a player.
5. If you insist on a non-English speaker, limit the first date to an hour and get her contact info. Meet later with your own interpreter or better yet, your iPhone. Kiev-Star wifi access is 144 grievna per month. That’s about US $15 for 30 days and a gig of bandwidth. If you use that much you need to stay off of YouTube! Using Google translate, you can have adequate conversation. And, it will encourage her to learn English when she has to patient to type. Interpreters make for laziness. You pay, you invest; what does the Ukrainian girl contribute? Her letters are free, date is free, meal is free – the least she can do is invest the time to type. If she is seriously interested in you she will. If not, she’s a player.
6. Ignore everything the girl says and watch what she does. If she’s interested, she will be attentive and there will be body language and chemistry to match. Any level of aloofness and you are being played. If you’re at the table and you don’t know who the sucker is, it’s you. Is the girl late? Is she juggling plans with other friends? If a rich woman flew to my country to see me and I was interested in her, all my friends and social life would be on hold for a week.
I’ll be posting more on this subject over time. Don’t let your heart or libido override your common sense. Step outside the box and ask if what you are doing makes sense. The marriage industry exists only to make $. Be suspect of anything and everything that costs you your hard earned money.
7. Forget about these organized tours and “socials” wherein you are taken from social to social. These girls have NO interest in dating Western men much less coming to your country. Most of them are there for the free food, drinks, for you to take them out afterwards and for a chance to win a raffle that is held at each “social.” I met an American man this morning, he’s from Iowa. He was at the same social that I went to two weeks ago. He told me that from event to event the girls were either “professional daters” or were only in it for the raffle prize. He said that he spent an average of $500 per day on meals and interpreters and didn’t meet a single quality marriage minded woman.
Buyer beware – scam artists have taken over the industry and if you’re mailing women or buying dinners – well, you’re just a sucker!
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