Make me some eggs!

Little boy on the airplane
The Boris Effect

If I only had more time for this blog I could make ten posts a day.  These crazy American women make it so easy.

I wanted to type about Odessa in Ukraine, about Belarus (love Minsk) and about my travels in Russia.  But no.  It is not to be.  I saw this profile on eHarmony and it just couldn’t wait.

If you’re into slightly chubby women, I guess she doesn’t look too bad.  Although the extra weight makes her early 30’s birthdate look more like 42.

I should probably just post some of what she wrote and you can see just how detached from reality these American women are (and what a waste of time eHarmony is).  Well, after reading Double Your Dates by David DeAngelo I may rethink the whole eHarmony experience; if I can turn all of these crazy women into no-committment sex toys, why not?

I digress.  Let’s see what this little red-headed gem as to say:

What she’s looking for in a man:  “hmmm…I can’t really narrow it down to just one quality but some qualities that are important to me are honesty, sincerity and someone who doesn’t mind if i [sic] dance in the supermarket or Ikea because a cool old song is playing.  Hopefully this person is also passionate, genuine and open minded, and they will dance with me.  Bonus points go to intelligence, being driven and level headed, kind (not just to small animals), considerate and patient….and tolerant.  Oh, and being able to whip up some awesome eggs for breakfast… (hold the bacon (if i’m [sic] being a good vegetarian that week)).

Wow.  Did you get all of that?  I’d expect so many demands from a super hot woman.  But have a look again at that photo.  This woman should be happy with a man who comes home at all: bonus points for not beating you.  Well, maybe you think that she’s as beautiful as Yosemite.  Fine then, but do you really want to dance with her in Ikea?  I think this woman has a screw loose somewhere.  If you do pass the “dance in the supermarket” check, you still have to love small animals, be tolerant – in other words she wants a p*ssy man.  But wait, here she is as confused as most American women, she also wants a man who is driven  and level headed.  Read: a man that will ride her rough and pull her hair during sex.

But what kills me is that she actually thinks that she is going to attract a man by putting out a call for a man who will cook breakfast for her.  Seriously?  If you’re looking at this profile and thinking about cooking her breakfast, you might as well go and see a plastic surgeon and have a quick-disconnect lever added to your penis and you can just give it to her when you leave for work each day!

WWS recommended site: Russian Cupid Russian Cupid

I was wondering where this whack-job woman was getting these crazy ideas and then I flipped to her next photo.  And look at that, she’s a Buddhist.  Of course, now it all makes sense.

In my studies of American women I have found that any woman who has certain interests is almost always going to be a nut-jub feminist.  You should avoid the following types:

1.  Buddhists

2.  Practices Yoga (in any form – its not excercise, its a religion)

3.  Volunteers & it is a central part of their life – while they are saving orphans in Uganda, who is taking care of your needs?

4.  Fails the Mom Check.

5.  Displays signs of the illness EGS (excessive girth syndrome) – if she’s a little chunky now, she’s going to blow up huge after marriage.

6.  Has photos of her pets on her profile or talks about her pets all the time.  If you want kids – forget it, her pets ARE the kids.  If you don’t want pets, forget about a life with her without animal hair, barking and sharing your bed with four-footed animals.

7.  Any woman who is in school and over the age of 30.  This is a clear sign of a desire to “self-improve” (more feminist man-bashing rhetoric).

8.  Any woman who studies psychology.  Most people go into the field of psychology because they are f*cked up and they’re trying to understand their own illness.  Once they think they’re “cured” they want to fix everyone else.

9.  Any woman who professes a desire for “self-improvement.”  This is usually someone who has been exposed to Buddhism,  belief in Karma & the belief that life is temporary – ie., “live in the moment,” type women.  Great for f*ck buddies, but don’t start a serious relationship with one and certainly don’t marry one!

10.  Any woman who is so concerned with being green (saving the planet/enviornment) that she is willing to bypass children and enjoying the “fun” things in life.  News ladies:  the Indians, Muslims, Chinese & the rest of the third world population don’t give a crap about global warming.  But they’re breeding you out of existance.  If you are ok with that, fine, but don’t marry one of these women with an expectation of children.

Last parting shot across the bow: why should any man be feeding this woman eggs?  A wise man would drag her by the ear to the track and run her around for 5 miles each day.  You don’t find crazy/fat women like this in the Ukraine!

WWS recommended site: Elenas Models Elena's Models


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Little boy on the airplane
The Boris Effect

5 thoughts on “Make me some eggs!

  1. Go make me some eggs! And when you are done, go to work, bring home the bacon, and cook some of it up to go with my eggs! While you are doing that, I am going to sit on this “ass” that is not composed of 150 pounds of chewed big league bubble gum, play around on facebook, and spend “our money” on clothes. And when you get home, don’t even think about asking for sex, as I am too tired and have a headache.

    Dear writer, this is what I think you should do: marry this woman, take her on a honeymoon to an unstable third world country, and kick her out of the car on a dark country road.

  2. Oi Oi OI! I’m from India and I should tell you, Yoga is NOT a religion! It is just exercise to keep the body and mind fit! HINDUISM is a religion and is older than any other religion on this earth.

    And secondly, HOW THE F*CK did that fat bitch get into MY country at all?? She must have knocked out the immigration officials with her “beauty” to get in! Sheesh! Keep her in your country or kick her out to Mehico, if the Mehicans want her!

    • Ha ha. Well, I’ve been to India and I agree that there are no fat people. I haven’t concluded if that is from the lack of eaten beef or the massive dysentery. But I digress. American women TREAT yoga as if it WAS a religion. Either way, I’ll take a tearoom al Easter woman any day and twice on Sunday.

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