Don’t ever get married!

If it was easy, everyone would do it
Two Russians and a Ukrainian

Been away from this blog for a bit – I guess that’s what happens when you find a new girlfriend – LOL.  Well, I assume most of us are out looking – otherwise, you would be at home content with your ole lady.  And so, I appologize for my absence, with work and a bit of travel, I’ve been pretty busy lately.

I found an investment I was interested in putting some money into.  The vehicle pays monthly interest and if I buy it in a non-qualified plan I’ll have to pay taxes on it.  I have some “free” money in my IRA (Individual Retirement Account) so I thought that I’d buy this investment in the qualified plan.

And so, I’m filling out the application and I come to the part where it asks for my beneficiaries.  In other words, the company is asking, “If you die, who gets your money?”  I selected my one and only beneficiary (in my case it is a trust – the ONLY way a man should secure his wealth).

Just below, I came to this question, “Are you married?”  If so, you must have SPOUSAL PERMISSION to name anyone other than your wife as beneficiary.

Say what!?

If I’m married I don’t even have control over who gets my money when I die?

Well, here’s the catch.  It’s not really your money any more.  It’s 1/2 hers.

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That’s right, as soon as you say “I do,” you also say, “Here’s 1/2 of all my shit.  I thought at least you had to go to divorce court to settle it.  But no, Federal Law is such that 1/2 of your retirement account is hers.  Divorce, she gets 1/2.  Die, she gets it all. She’s a crack whore and you want to leave it to your kids?  You’re screwed, she gets the $

You can be a 63 year old man with a $4,000,000 IRA account, get married to your new Ukrainian wife, she runs off with the gym trainer and you decide to change your beneficiary to protect your money.  Too late, you’re screwed.  She’s already entitled. Ok, lets say that you have your son as beneficiary.  Crack whore import wife runs off with the pool boy but you already set your kid up as beneficiary.  You’re stuck with that finance company – you can’t leave or else you have to put the wife on as beneficiary.  No doubt her divorce lawyer will have your ass in court anyway, but the fact that you don’t even have the authority to set your own beneficiary was shocking to me.

Why in the fuck would you want to get married if you can’t even control your own money?

If your woman wants a commitment, give it to her.  She wants a ring, but it. Just don’t get a marriage contract or otherwise fall into “common law marriage.”  If she wants to tell her folks she’s married, whatever.  JUST DON’T SIGN THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT!  It is financial suicide.

Not only does this Federally Required authorization make you get your wife’s signature, it even advises her to seek legal and tax representation.

When did men give up all of their rights?  Only a stupid chump would get married today.  At a minimum, set up a trust account and get a very very good prenuptial agreement.  I’ll be writing more about trusts coming up – a very effective way to protect yourself – especially if you are considering importing a wife.

Good luck & good hunting men!

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If it was easy, everyone would do it
Two Russians and a Ukrainian

11 thoughts on “Don’t ever get married!

  1. So you’re representing yourself to your dates (who are unselfish, decent people) as dependable, husband material, etc. Do you tell them upfront that the most they can expect is that you’ll live with them less than 50% of the year, with no promises of marriage, even though you plan on having children together? What security does that leave them if you just decide to walk out and leave them in Ukraine? Would you be proud to let them read this part of your blog?

    You’re just like the feminists you criticize. It’s just different flavors of the me-first entitlement mentality that plagues all Americans who grew up in a generation of little hardship. The women you’ve met sound delightful—maybe we can all take a leaf out of their book and stop looking out for #1 all the time.

    Anyway, I don’t know why I’m commenting. I guess because American guys who go to Eastern Europe seeking women and the whole conversation surrounding that impulse is something that brushes my world, as a fellow expat. I’m the other side of the coin that doesn’t get talked about as much—an American girl with a Slovak guy.

    • A corpulent bovine? I know what a bovine is, I’ll have to look up corpulent. I suspect that it has to do with the body (corpus) – it can’t mean fat can it? Ah,
      – adjective
      1. large or bluky of body; portly; stout; fat.

      So, your online identy is “fat cow.” Ok, lets answer your email on the premise that you are a western woman who suffers from EGS (excessive girth syndrome).

      What I have come to learn about ANY western woman who “celebrates” her excessive size is that these same women usually stink of feminism. The kind of man-hating anger that comes from being mistreated by so many man-pigs who you’ve thrown yourself to on so many late Friday nights after binge-drinking with “the girls.”

      As for your remarks – yes, this is exactly how I represent myself to the women I date – I work 1/2 of the year away from home. The downside is, separation. The upside is, a good paycheck and the chance to travel. I’ve just spent three blissful weeks driving around Europe in a rental car, sleeping in late and sipping wine. Some women don’t have the confidence to be separated from their man, some do. Luckily, I found a woman that can stand on her own feet when I’m away and values that my paycheck can buy us a home and pay the bills for marriage and kids.

      My situation is unique – most Western Men who decide on a foreign wife will likely bring their new wife back to their country. And so, my experience can provide some idea of dating foreign Women but doesn’t necessarily fit everyone’s lifestyle. As for your criticism of my work schedule, it is a result of your feminist bias. If I was a woman who worked away from home and husband, you would applaud my “independence.”

      What security do I offer my new girlfriend? What security does any boyfriend in America offer his American girlfriend? Not really much, until marriage. I have money in the bank, life insurance & investments. Should I choose to get married, my foreign bride will be waaaaay ahead of the game – even when compared to most American women.

      I try to follow your logic and find it lacking: because I choose to do what is right by me, I’m somehow “like the feminists” I criticize? Most Men I know are happy with equal rights and opportunity. But they realize that Men and Women are different and they celebrate the difference. Feminists think that Men and Women are the same and criticize any recognition of the difference.

      Well Fat Cow, I thank you for your comment. While your comment isn’t the most positive, I’ve decided that I will approve and reply to ALL comments regardless of comment – I’m all for an open dialogue – I believe that Men, when exposed to the illogical rants of feminists will more quickly come “to the light.”

      • Guess again, the handle was just a take on the broad brush with which you tarred all American women :)

        Actually, I’m fit, pro-marriage, never thrown myself at a guy after binge-drinking on a Friday night (actually, after reading your blog, you seem to have done more of that kind of thing than I have). Don’t waste your breath making up insults on that count—my sins are more along the lines of having a science degree from a prestigious university, coming from four generations of working women (and no divorce), and daring to be the one with more earning potential in my relationship (with a guy from Central/Eastern Europe). Guess what, not all guys are so insecure they need a woman to prop them up by selling herself short in her career.

      • Er, you said, if you get married, the woman will be way ahead financially. As I recall, this was under a blog post containing “JUST DON’T SIGN THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT!”

        I just don’t see what’s so pro-family or pro-marriage about keeping a convenience girlfriend in Eastern Europe. And she has no security if you get tired of her and someday leave her and your children for someone else.

        I’m sorry, but I’ve seen what some American guys do in this part of the world and it’s sad. Don’t raise someone’s expectations of marriage and a real home life unless you mean it. I’ve started warning Russian and Eastern European friends (I meet a lot of them, because a lot come west to the Czech Republic to study and we’re all in our early 20’s) not to assume a guy’s good just because he’s American—there are too many “player” types who appear around here. And one of my close friends in the U.S. was the daughter of a Russian mail-order bride—the husband was abusive and she, her brother, and her mom had to escape, even though it meant being homeless for a while. So just excuse me for not wanting something like this to happen to any of my friends. I guess that makes me a terrible fat cow feminist.

        • “What some guys do in this part of the world,” – yes, there are players everywhere. Some men go to E. Europe and there are plenty of gold-digging players in the West. Men have two choices, marry a woman in the west who has an unrealistic expectation of a relationship that is based on feminism, or they find a woman from a place where the women aren’t polluted.

          Sure I’m painting with a broad brush, there is a bit of satire here. Sure, some women in America aren’t feminazi – but they are in the minority. No man I’ve ever met, who has come to E. Europe ever even looks at an American woman again. This should say something about American women.

          As for painting with a broad brush, I’ll paint wider: American men are just as feminist as American women. Its not until they get out of the country do they see how brainwashed they’ve become.

          I’d be curious to know what your definition of “fit” is…

  2. Wow !! Your post has scared the shit out of me !! I have two kids who are 4 and 5 yrs old with a beautiful Spanish women who speaks 5 languages and half way thru her 6th which is Russian. She separated from me almost a year ago claiming to be unhappy and not in love. Most of this is due to me not being the same package as when we met and money was flying thru the door and I offered a great lifestyle.

    She is independent and works and has figured out a way to live separately and have an aupair and all this without money from me, just to prove her independence. Recently she has agreed that its best for the kids to live in the USA and will reunite with me. here’s the prob… she will have to married to me to live in the USA. i only want the best for my kids, but will have to risk marriage to go back to the US, where I have to start from scratch and rebuild my life at age 50. on the other hand I can stay in Marbella, see my kids and be a father and of course i will help support them financially as best I can, but I’m afraid that Spain’s economy is finished for at least the next 5 yrs and i know in my heart that the USA offers my children far more opportunities and being educated in English will give them an edge… They are already tri-lingual…

    Such a difficult position I’m in because I cannot trust this woman long-term, but I want the best for my kids and I will not abandoned them either.

    Any advise???

    The Spanish Depression has wrecked my income earning potential here and I will only survive financially if I stay and this is for the sacrifice of being and raising my kids. My preference is to be a happy family and in a loving relationship.

    Any advise??

    • I will have no problem bringing my wife back to the States if we every decide to settle there (rather than say on the beach in Croatia). No matter how you slice it, you’ll always be on the hook for child support and alimony/spousal support if your state mandates it. But, so far as protecting your assets, what you need to do is set up an SPA trust. I won’t get into all of the details for the sake of brevity here, but in the next month or two I plan to write a blog post about it. In essence, you set up a trust, make your children the beneficiaries and then give away all of your money, stocks & real estate to the trust. You no longer own it, she can’t take it. And the way the laws are written, you don’t actually own it. Although you control the $ defacto and you can have the trustee appoint the money back to you at a later date. You retain 100% control but without the “pitfall” of ownership. In discover, you tell her divorce attorney (legally) that you are worth $50. If you get sued (car accident, slip & fall at your house), once again, you are worth $50, lawyers won’t even bother.

      It beats a prenup as those can be challenged and defeated in court. The trust can’t be beat in court because you LEGALLY DON’T OWN THE MONEY, your kids do.

      Mitt Romney has one, why not you?

      Send me an email if you need more info, my contact is on the home page.

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