Nice guys finish last

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I recently came across an article titled “Why Nice Guys Finish Last.” It piqued my curiosity and I gave it a read. It wasn’t quite what I expected: I thought that it would be more of a social writing about how (literally) nice guys finish last. But in reality, it is more of a business model and it suggests that nice guys finish last in business; be a “hard guy” and you’ll do better in business.

The article starts off telling the story of how a nice gentleman and an old granny are waiting in line to buy Powerball Lottery tickets and the “gentleman” lets the cranny take his spot in line. The granny wins millions and the story suggests that by “being the nice guy” the man lost his chance for millions. In reality, random numbers are generated from second to second and if the man had kept his place in line, it is unlikely that he would have drawn the winning number. But it makes for a nice story.

As the tone of the article is business related, the author gives 5 reasons how “nice guys” in business finish last:

1. Settling for sub-par employees.

2. Conceding too quickly.

3. Not being stubborn enough.

4. Feelings of guilt.

5. Not seizing the lead.

The first “nice guy” trait suggests that small business owners doom themselves in business by settling for poor employees, often because of feelings of friendship. The article suggests cutting poor employees and taking on good employees. The second point suggests that business people try to “play fair’ rather than try to win; business leaders like Bill Gates don’t concede until they have the deal that they want. The third point says that men who are stubborn earn 18% more $ than men who aren’t. The fourth point, like the first point says that feelings of guilt prevent employers from letting weak employees go and it costs them in the long run ($). The last point addresses that many small businesses run their business like a democracy and in the end they get walked on; the article suggests that you must run your business like a football team and you must act like the quarterback or coach.

Overall, I have to agree with all of these points – from a business standpoint. But what if we take these rules and apply them to dating? Feminism teaches us that we must have “equality” in relationships – this, despite our natural drive to take our proper place in nature. If man is supposed to lead, this role has been subverted by our common Western Society. I am often asked of other men, “How do I assume the role of a traditional “Alpha” male?” Or, “What should I do to be the leader in my family/relationship or while dating?” Have a look at this article and replace all of the business references to male & female relationships – I think that a good argument can be made that a strong man in a relationship has a lot in common with a strong business leader.

I’ve take then article (almost verbatim) and reproduced it below – the exception is that I replace business owners with ‘men’ and employees with ‘women.’ Now, before I get any (more) hate mail, I’m not saying that women should be like employees in a relationship. What I am saying is that there is a huge gap in positive role models for strong men in our society – I believe that this article can serve a useful purpose to that end:

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1. Settling for a sub-par mate. Men need to be aggressive in searching, finding and dating the best woman. A marriage is only as strong as its players, and this part of the relationship game is not for the faint of heart. No matter what state our society is in, there is always a lot of competition for the best women. It is critical that dating be part of the man’s personal mission—it should never be delegated entirely. Screen women passionately (with attention to detail and effort), relentlessly and always be willing to “give more than the other guy.” Fighting to win the battle for the best woman is a key requirement to building a good relationship.

2.  Conceding too quickly. The most successful entrepreneurs are fierce competitors. Channel Steve Jobs, Donald Trump, Bill Gates and Larry Ellison. They compete honestly, but intensely. They never give up and play to win. Successful men think their fair share of the marketplace (dating pool) is 100 percent. They want every woman and are unwilling to concede anything to a fellow competitor.

3. Not being stubborn enough. Studies suggest that men who are “below average on agreeableness earn roughly 18 percent more than men who are considered nice.” Statistically, rude people get more of what they want. When you first start dating, forget about negotiating for a win-win. Set minimum and maximum goals. Aggressively pursue the maximum goal and never quit unless the minimum one is achieved.

4. Feelings of guilt. The man has to be merciless in dumping women who don’t fit his life goals. Too many men allow women who are not a good match to linger, and this ends up hurting both. The “nice guy” behavior of letting them hang on benefits no one since the man is prevented from finding his perfect match. Never hesitate. Give the appropriate amount of politeness and cut them loose even if there is no immediate replacement. This goes for women who have shown dishonest behavior. Practice a zero tolerance policy of “one strike and you’re out.”

5. Not seizing the lead. A relationship is never run like a democracy. Some may even call its structure a benevolent dictatorship. While the man should solicit ideas and feedback from his wife or girlfriend, there is only one vote that really counts. Majority doesn’t rule in a relationship. Women will follow a leader who shows confidence and commitment.

In relationships, men who are always nice guys can finish last. Remember that the next time you let someone cut in front of you at the supermarket.

Alana told me a story recently and as I compared it to the relationship between my mother and father, I can clearly see the difference in a society that embraces feminism and one that does not. Alana’s Father announced to the family that they would get up early on Saturday morning and go to do some work. Everyone whined and complained so Father called for a vote. The whole family, except father voted against the early morning. And then Father declared, “So, it is settled. We will get up early on Saturday.” Alana complained, “Dad, that’s not fair, we voted.” Her Father replied, “Don’t ever let it be said that we don’t have representation in this family. We do. I listened to your votes and then I made a decision. This isn’t a democracy after all.”

And so, they all got up on Saturday morning. Dad is the Captain and the team follows the captain.

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15 reasons why you're a feminist
Feminist Trifecta

15 thoughts on “Nice guys finish last

  1. It will be interesting to see how a westernized women responds to this. Because they have the mindset (even if unconsciously) that men are all evil, overbearing oppressors, they try to browbeat men by using shaming language and verbally/emotionally assaulting masculine behavior. This leads to “Niceguys”, not wanting to “offend” them, ending up in the friendzone and into a very unfortunate position.

    On one hand, they can continue being Niceguys and not get any, being forced to hover around the western woman in hopes of a scrap of affection while really being excluded from that woman’s list of romantic possibilities (“Why can’t I find a guy like you?”). On the other hand, if they assert their dominance, the woman backtracks immediately, tries to reassert the man into the friendzone (“I don’t want to lose our friendship!”) or puts the man into the “creepy/loser” category (“I thought you were different, all men are the same!”).

    What really boggles the mind is the trifecta of:
    1. Western women are in no short supply to men who are assholes
    2. Western women and media is always calling for men to “man up”
    3. Western women who marries someone who is not socially dominating them express having “settled” to marry

    Soooo….on one side, we have western women desperately seeking masculine energy from the other half of the population, while they fervently tell us that we should be nice and submit to their will.

    To add insult to injury, it does not seem to me that western women know (or even care!) about what western men want. If we are to take the western women as our exemplifying of what a man wants, then we would have to conclude that western men desire career driven, ball-busting, overweight and crass individuals to spend the rest of their life with. The truth of the matter is that not a thought is given to how MEN feel about the situation. I can recall a time where a (not overweight) fellow student and I were studying calculus at her house. She took a break to prepare tea and slip into pajamas (ok…) and then suddenly launches into a monologue about her views on premarital sex. I had to stop her at 10 minutes and ask if she was trying to make a pass, and she was mortified…at -me-. It had not occurred to her in an inkling to think about what effect she would have by talking to a male peer about sex while wearing her pajamas in her house after dark, none at all.

    Essentially, western society has trained the women to degrade masculine energy while simultaneously being unable to remove the desire for it from them. What this has left us with is a population of women who are completely unmarriageable because they have been taught to outwardly reject men and additionally make themselves unattractive. Blessed is the woman in America today who truly desires a husband, because they easily achieve their goal of a happy, sustainable marriage (there are still some men with the traits of real masculinity left). Any man in western society would be winning the lottery to find such a woman. Fortunately, you can rig the lottery by going overseas, to where there are many, many more women who care about men and what they think; who stay in shape, express loyalty and are not wholly selfish.

    So, western women, do your worst. If you comment that Niceguys don’t finish last with you (and it happens to be true), then you are the exception. If we’re creeps and losers, then surely you don’t care if we go somewhere else and experience bliss. Shame us, tell us we have no attractive features, that we look like trolls and micropeni, that we’re disgusting manpig misogynistic backwater miscreants.

    Too bad for you, we’ve noticed the hole you’ve dug, filled with your own offal and filled up with Niceguys to try to keep your feet clean. We’ve decided not to go down in there with you. Da’Svildinya!

    • YoungBlood, great comment! – please excuse me while I quote you – literally. I’m going to use this reply as a comment in and of itself.

  2. Recently i have been hanging out in more smaller neighborhoods where there are more immigrant women and more old fashioned type women,less “career oriented” feminist types and they have been more attracted to a “nice guy” like me,so check out some areas where you live thats not the usual places where you can meet some of these types in the West but there are still issues The TV is a big brainwash tool
    I wish there was no TV lol

    • Not a bad idea ~ if you don’t want to do the ‘foreign dating thing,’ dating in the immigrant pool might not be a bad idea. One of the readers of this blog reports that he went to Sunday morning church service at the local Russian Orthodox Church and met a beautiful Russian woman there – she immigrated with her parents to the US when she was 13 or 14, she’s 20 now and is dating one of our own readers here.

      Bottom line up front: there really is NO reason to date a woman who had feminist leanings…

      • Scott,
        Awesome good to know !
        Yes in the west you can overome too!
        i think in the long run we will win over this horror of times
        but it will take a long time we will probably be past our prime by then,so i think guys should think fast and not wait around anymore

  3. One thing I noticed here in Canada is that that parts of the country that are poorer it is alot easier to get a half decent woman…

    I went to Novia Scotia one year which has a poor economy and very high unemployment rate compared to the rest of Canada and I noticed the women were actually interested in me, at least alot more than in a richer part of Canada like Calgary were the women have big paying jobs and were born in a family that had everything, and were encouraged to have their own career and finances etc… The richer the country the worst the women behave and become, they become lazy and spoiled and have unrealistic expectations.

    Amazing that even in the same country one can see this difference. I also noticed this difference in Philippines, were in the richer city like Manila the women seemed harder to get and more demanding compared to a girl for a poorer location of the country, so it seems at least to me and my many years of dating that women who come from poorer area’s etc make much better girl friends and are less spoiled… A daughter of a doctor from Philippines is a lot less spoiled than a daughter of a doctor in usa, and best to find a daughter of a fish salesman in Philippines, then she will be more hard working and have less expectations and easier to please in general.

    This is a huge reason women from abroad are more interested in us foreign guys is that they want a good guy in their lives that are stable and can bring them stability and security and not necessary the most athletic. The handsome ones in their own country have so many girls to choose from that the men turn into playboys with such a large selection of women.

    So the poorer the community or country you go the less spoiled the women are and the more realistic their expectations would be in a mate, as they would be looking for a more realistic and basic set of guidelines for their man compared to some rich family in the west with a spoiled brat for a daughter.

    On a side not I find it is alot harder to get a foreign women in the west compared to their home country as they all of a sudden have a huge poor of desperate men willing to do anything for their affection and they would likely pickup on this very fast and get more choosey. At least this is what I noticed with filipina;s I met here compared to the Philippines, as soon as they come here they have alot higher expectations, not as high as the women here but higher back than they were in their home country. I noticed this many times in the past.

    • Darryl; good points all around. I think that back in the early days of this blog I wrote a post “In the land of the blind, the one eye’d man is king.” How true that is – when dating, location is everything.

      I am not sure if the reason is that feminism affects places that have a higher standard of living or if it is just that the “Western laziness” sets in where people become more affluent. Either way, the dating pool is a lot friendlier to “the average nice guy” who visits Siberia compared to the guy who dates in New Jersey.

  4. Good point Darryl and scott
    i think the best way is to look good, work out, do the best you can and also be yourself…..i see lots of guys trying to be “thugs” to attract these feminist type women but doesnt work anyway,have to test the foreign lands and keep your eyes open in the west too sometimes you can find the right one,its rare now but have to keep the power

  5. I think you can do quite well with American women if nice. It’s important to also be assertive and not tolerate feminine foolishness of any sort. Women can have all of these ideas about how great they are, but at their core, they are still the submissive member of the species. If you tell them how things are, they will comply.

    • Ryan, I always think that it is so cute when I hear people give an opinion about something that they know so little about. Recently, in a bar, a guy was telling me about what war is like. I asked if he had ever been in a war zone and he said, “Well, honestly no, but…” Of course, I ignored everything he said after that.

      It is probably safe to say that you’ve never been to Russia or Ukraine?

      On our daily walk today, I mentioned your comment to Alana. She told me that a Russian couple she knew tried to dissuade her from travelling because “it is dangerous overseas,” and “there is nothing interesting outside of Russia. Russia has so many interesting places, there is no reason to leave.” And later, this couple had some affluence and then they began to travel and remarkably, they began to recommend to Alana that she travel to France or to Spain because it was “so wonderful.”

      Perhaps you’re the latter case instead of the first: you try to justify that American women aren’t so bad because you have nothing to compare or that you just simply can’t (financial or other reasons) travel to where the women are better.

      But saying that you “can do quite well with American women if ‘nice,'” makes as much sense as saying, “you could do OK selecting a new employee from the convict pool of labor.” Sure, you might find a good guy who’s reformed, but 9 times out of 10, you’re going to get ripped off and have other problems. I do liken the American women dating pool as similar to hiring from the convict labor core; if you hire 10 convicts or date 10 American women, the chances are – no matter how nice you are, you’re still dealing with shit.

      Really, why do I want to “tell them how things are,” and fight the uphill battle of fighting with their peers, mother, sisters and the refrigerator when I can just marry a Russian Woman who doesn’t have all of these preconceived feminist notions?

      Really, the only way you can “tell them (feminist American women) how things are, and they will comply,” is to be a woman beater or an overbearing asshole.

      If you build a house on sand, no matter how you “tell it how things are,” eventually, its gonna crash.

  6. Amen bro!

    Yes American women and the rest of the west are that bad. Why take the risk? The reason you are on this site because you know that deep down inside there is something wrong with this culture and the feminist it produces. Once you have experienced a quality foreign woman you can never go back to domestic, if you do you will regret it for the rest of your life!

  7. Nice rebuttal Scott, you are an astute writer, for sure. Also, I wanted to add that has been swimming around my head as of late. As you recall, I had written earlier that I had helped a few couples find their loves and that just recently, our California pair just got married. You know this gentleman has thanked me about a hundred times because of how special she is. We have a mutual friend, who met and married his wife, however let me point out, they did meet on a tour. Well, his life has been eternal hell. From the highest joys to lowest lows. They’ve “divorced” many times already and I just feel for him because he is pumping out everything he has to keep her satisfied. My point is and I am going to use my own personal 3 year relationship to emphasize: a marriage and especially a marriage to a Ukrainian lady is EASY! Sure, there will be disagreements, you won’t be subjected to PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE torturous behavior. We have all heard that marriage is work, by TWO PEOPLE! And the beauty of a Ukrainian wife, is that she will work (well, its not work her mind, its pleasure) to ensure you are 1. looking good. Iron your shirts or pants before you walk out that door, because she wants you to look your best 2. she will ensure you are well fed 3. she will ensure you are adequately loved and will not use sex as a weapon (as so many western women do) 4. bear and take care of your children without harping about “how she’s with the baby all day, and never gets a moment to herself,” or griping that you are not doing enough to help with the baby. 5. your home will be comfortable, cozy and wonderful to live in.

    I asked my wife just yesterday does she want to go back to Ukraine because she is worried terribly about the increasing violence. She said no, she wants safety for our family which is natural, but she followed this up by saying to me, she just wants to be with me wherever we go, because she trusts in my intelligence that I’ll make the best decision for our family. It just always blows my mind to hear such comments because to my knowledge, words like this from a typical western woman don’t exist (anymore).

    As always, I wish you guys the best in your search for your other half.

    • “he wants safety for our family which is natural, but she followed this up by saying to me, she just wants to be with me wherever we go, because she trusts in my intelligence that I’ll make the best decision for our family.”

      Alana says the same thing to me every week; she will follow me wherever I go and will support any decision I make for our family. What American woman would ever say that?

      They would say, “Well, this or that is fair,” or “well, what I want is this.” American women are trained to be self-centered, EE Women are trained to put the family first.

      It’s like night and day, no matter how nice you act.

      • Hi guys! It’s great to hear about the cozy and peaceful house that both of you have. I just notice all the time by the way that most of my fellow countrymen that are married to their native women pretty much never have peaceful houses. If you remember that old saying…a house divided against itself cannot stand…if any man has peaceful house it is worth more than any amount of gold or a billion dollars in my opinion.

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