Doctor Phil in Russia

Worldly Wednesday: Rings
Female Friday: Searching for The Earl of Piety

Dr. Phil

This post may – at first – seem a bit disjointed, come along for a few minutes and let me see if I can make my point.

For the last month, an idea has been bouncing around in my head and I’ve been thinking of a way to write about it. Today, while channel surfing, I came across the Dr. Phil show and (again) I am amazed at the level of drama, especially female drama that we celebrate in this country.

If I had to write a thesis for this post it would be, “The biggest difference(s) between American and Russian society is the difference in a system of patriarchy and personal freedom .”

To be able to understand a Russian Woman, you really need to be able to understand Russian Culture. At the least, you should have some knowledge about it. I truly believe that most Americans are not only ignorant of Russian Culture, in general we are ignorant of most other cultures. This is (I believe) a result of little overseas travel; I’ve had the benefit of much international travel and I speak from my own experience(s).

Compared to Americans, Russians are much more private in their own lives. If a Russian has a Facebook account, don’t expect to see 3 or 4 posts a day: “This is what I had for lunch,” “I’m going to the gym,” etc. Alana has only a handful of FB friends and they rarely, if ever, post ANYTHING on her wall. It seems that my (250 or so) FB friends post everything from “Look at the beer I just drank” to “Look at these cute dolphins photo.” And my favorite is when people post their troubles and woes, “94 days of sobriety, slugging it out every day!” Why in the hell would you broadcast to everyone that you are a drunk? In Russia, you keep your business private, especially BAD news. It would be unthinkable for a Russian Woman to tell other Russian Woman about her husband’s shortcomings. It seems that American women have made a sport out of gossip about what goes on in their homes; Facebook is good proof of it.

I am not sure if Russians are more private because of their History ~ I suppose that if you don’t talk to strangers, there is less of a chance that you don’t give info to a KGB agent by mistake and end up in the Gulag. For whatever reason, Russians don’t talk about their private lives openly and they sure don’t post about them on Facebook.

The other huge difference that I see – and this is probably a bigger difference – is that Russia is a Patriarchal society. While America used to be more patriarchal, since the Revolution, we have adopted the  philosophy that individual freedom extends to every facet of our lives. Over time, and through social evolutions (the feminist revolution comes first to mind), we have come to the point in our society where it is almost verbotten to exercise any form of supervision or leadership over any other person. In the corporate world,  a boss can’t correct a worker. The boss has to have a “discussion” or a “counseling” and it is often done in committee fashion (in the form of some type of HR intervention).

Consider the last time you were in the grocery store and some little 5 year old monster (child) was acting as if they ran the place. Have you ever seen a spoiled child act as they wish and instead of straightening them out, the parent pleads with them to shape up? American society places such a high value on independence that parents (and teachers and other leaders) feel almost ashamed or embarrassed to take a leadership role and correct bad behavior.

Yesterday I was watching some home video show and a little girl hits another girl during a ballet recital. Her parents comment, “Oh, she’s so stubborn.” They justify this child’s bad behavior by calling her stubborn. When this young lady is 15, defiant, on drugs and/or pregnant they will probably say, “Oh, she’s always been so stubborn.” In reality, they never acted like parents and corrected their child. And our society supports them and looks down at parents who correct their children.

This inability to lead and correct bad behavior certainly extends Western Male-female relationships.

And so, I watched the Dr. Phil show, in absolute horror as this fat nagging bitch mercilessly rides her husband. She taunts him, belittles him and in general makes his life hell. After only 3 minutes I thought to myself, what this man needs to do is tell her to just shut up. He needs to act like a man and take control of his house. Instead, he lowers himself to her taunts and soon the two sounds like a pair of 11 year old girls arguing.

When Dr. Phil finally chimes in, does he chastise the woman for aggravating her husband, for disrespecting him or for acting in such an undignified manner? No. Dr. Phil tells the man that he has a problem controlling his emotions and recommends that he seek “professional help.” Wow. Really, if this woman just treated her husband with reverence and respect, 95% of their problems would be solved. But who’s fault is that really? As Alana always says, “Don’t be mad at someone standing on your neck if you put your neck out for them to stand on.” Should we be mad at the 5 year old screaming in the grocery store or at the parent?

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Can't be a man

You hear her complaining, “He’s competing with my kids.” If she treated her husband with respect and demanded that her children did the same, he wouldn’t have to compete. But, this is the biggest failure of feminism: it teaches that women have to compete with men. This woman should be teaching her children their proper place in the family, to honor and respect their step-father, not to compete with him.

I looked at a list of the Dr. Phil programs (top photo) this week and each one is some sort of woman drama and almost everyone can be attributed to feminism and the breakdown of our traditional society.

I watched with (literal) disgust as this man sheepishly tried to defend his position. “My wife doesn’t respect me. If she would listen to me, we wouldn’t fight.” Dr. Phil arrogantly and rudely chastised the man saying, “Oh, she should listen to you huh? You’re not even smart enough to solve your own problems.”

If this man had acted like a Man, he wouldn’t be in this boat to begin with.

Back to the differences between Russian and American societes; specifically, our (Westerners) desire to “share” everything we do with everyone else. Our society promotes it and ANYTIME there is any disagreement in the family, we are encouraged to seek “professional help.”

What is “professional help?” It is (almost always PAID) advice from a Psycologist or Psychiatrist. These people have NO vested interest in solving your problems. If they solve your problems, you won’t come back. They need to “help you along,” sometimes for years at end, to keep their paycheck going. Our fascination with head-shrinkers is a complete mystery to Alana. She asks with incredulity, “Why would anyone tell their problems to a stranger?”

I asked her, if a married couple in Russia had a problem, how would they handle it? She said, “Well, they wouldn’t post it on Facebook!” Then she explained to me that they would try to work it out between them. If they were at an impasse, they would go to a senior & trusted family member (usually the Patriarch of the family: Grandpa, Dad or an old Uncle). If a solution couldn’t be found, they would go to their Church Priest – but NEVER to a stranger (her emphasis, not mine).

And so, when we have husband/wife feuds, we don’t talk to a Father figure or a Priest. We talk to a feminist-trained “expert” who will tell us that husband/wife equality is normal. And of course, you’ll be expected to pay the bill for the shrink’s bill.

In the West, we celebrate individuality and personal freedom. In Russia, the thought of everyone “doing what they want’ is akin to anarchy. Wives are expected to follow their husbands, citizens obey the government and people respect and honor institutions; in America, we march in protest, curse our officials and ignore our parents. Alana and I often debate the merits of Russian and American societies. Each has its merits but in the West we have lost some of the sense of subservience that still exists in the East. When I look at what has become of Western Society, I have to agree with some of Alana’s points that personal freedom above all else sounds good but doesn’t always work in theory. Stupid people do stupid things and people who are genetically destined to be followers are told that they should lead. In the end, you have organization and leadership by committee. This doesn’t work in business, it doesn’t work in the military and it won’t work in a family.

Watch the TV show “The Dog Whisperer.” He never asks the dogs if they want to follow: he leads and they naturally follow.

When you select your life-mate, you really have to think in the long term. How will she act towards me in 2 years, 5 years, 20 years? Much of how she will act is how she was raised. And this presents a huge problem for you if you want to marry a Western woman. If she wants to post your problems on Facebook and run to a feminist trained psychiatrist, you don’t have much hope of long-term success. How an Eastern European Woman is brought up – based only on the “norms” of Russian Society – will have huge consequences on how your marriage turns out over time.

It is always a surprise to me that Western Men marry Western women and expect them to act in a “traditional” way. If you’re going to make apple pie, you shouldn’t cook with cherries. If you want a traditional wife, you should select a woman who was raised in a traditional (patriarchal) society.

As I watched the Dr. Phil show, I tried to imagine how this show would sound if Dr. Phil was Russian and the show was aired in Russia?

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Worldly Wednesday: Rings
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6 thoughts on “Doctor Phil in Russia

  1. This was a good post Scott. So as you been saying in this and other posts, the Russian, or Ukraine woman etc, will listen and follow her boyfriend/husband in the relationship instead trying to compete or take over like in the west?

    Just that I have to say it in writing since it is hard for us guys raised in the west to comprehend such things.

    If you think about it this feminism not only ruined it for us guys, but it ruined and destroyed the family and may even bring down the entire western society if it keeps growing and getting worse as it has. I mean look at all the broken homes, and dysfunctional families since the start of feminism thing…

    Plus on top of it all we have all the governments in the western world supporting and encouraging feminism, even in the schools or in the case of family or divorce law etc, if the feminists can get half the guys shit plus huge support payments for life who wants to stay in a marriage if it has small problems even? Scary to get married in the west to a feminist, it is like a possible death sentence. Or put even worse put, death by a thousand cuts :-)

    I can see your meaning that you can’t vote in the army, so true, yet that is what we have in relationships and families in the west now, everybody want equal .If everybody has equal say in the family, what happens is everything gets wild and noting gets done with no discipline, and the family falls apart or becomes dysfunctional…

    This site has been a great education into the real cause of the unhappiness and family breakup of the west.

    Thank for your effort in making this post Scott.

    • “This was a good post Scott. So as you been saying in this and other posts, the Russian, or Ukraine woman etc, will listen and follow her boyfriend/husband in the relationship instead trying to compete or take over like in the west?”

      No, I’m saying that a woman will follow a Man who leads.

      The key difference is that if you are in Russia and you act like a Man and lead, and your woman follows, everyone will think it is normal. If you do the same in the US, people will call you a misogynist.

      And that’s just fine by me. How I am perceived by feminists (female or male) is of NO consequence to me. I’m in the happiest and best relationship of my life. I don’t even THINK of looking back.

      • “Watch the dog whisperer” OMG! OMG! OMG!
        Except women are HUMANS!!!

        I am not even American. I am from Brazil, which much like Russia, is a very sexist country and also full of hot women, including Russian descendants. I am 50% Hungarian myself, and I have always been DISGUSTED by creepy foreigners in their 40s hitting on me when I was 19.

        It is sad! Just. Sad.

        Unlike you, I don’t think western nor eastern men suck. Because I like men. I like to talk to them, know what they think about my favorite movies and albums. But I can also teach them…

        But you? You don’t like women. You like pussy. But women? You have to find them where they are treated as second class citizens so they will value you.

        This idea that women don’t like nice guys… It’s all wrong. You don’t get it. You just… oh… So sad.

        When you say those things, what it sounds to me is that you have failed as a man to please the women around you who require RESPECT. It doesn’t matter where they are from. If you want a housewife who cooks and cleans while you make the money, that’s fine. A lot of people enjoy that lifestyle… And there are TONS of good looking American girls who are traditional: You just can’t get them, that’s why you say they suck. They don’t suck. They just don’t suck… You. That’s why you had to travel to get laid.

        • “They’re Women, not dogs!”

          LOL

          No kidding? Of course I know that. You’re missing the point. We (humans) are all animals. For thousands of years we’ve had a natural social order. In the last 50 years, we’ve changed tens of thousands of years of human nature and told women that they should run the show. The problem is, Women, by and large want Men who are Alpha Males in that they take the lead. My point with the Dog Whisperer is that Ceasar leads by example. He leads his dog pack & he leads his family. He doesn’t hit anyone, he doesn’t mistreat anyone. He is confident, he leads and they follow (his dogs AND his family). My point is that, all Men who are confident – as Caesar is – lead and women follow naturally.

          As a feminist, I know that this goes against everything you’ve been taught. But it is human nature. No matter how hard to you try to rewrite human DNA, you can’t. It is what it is.

          As for your arguments, really, this is like debating who’s right between Israel and Palestine between a Jew and an Arab. Who was there first? Who has a right to the land. One of the biggest problems in that argument (or say whether or not Crimea should go to Russia) is the angle of your perspective.

          It is obvious in reading your comment that your perspective is from a feminist point of view. And as such, it is natural that you think that anything less than 50/50 equality between Men and women is some sort of “rotten deal” and that women are getting screwed in the process.

          However, if you look at this from outside of your feminist brainwashing, it looks completely different entirely.

          We can see that you’re a typical feminist brainwashed woman just in looking at your comments. That men who are older than you, hitting on you is “creepy.” Why is it creepy for a 40 year old man to hit on a 20 year old woman? Because Western feminist says so. I’ll say that its not creepy at all. In fact, 50, 100, and 500 years ago it was quite common and still is common across 1/3rd of the globe. That you can cast such wide social stereotypes shows how narrow your view is, how arrogant it is and how ignorant you are.

          And no, I don’t have to travel around the world to get laid. In America, I can get laid all the time. To what end? The problem is, there is a wide segment of the American female population that have almost no skills in the wife category. No Dear, I don’t travel to get laid, I traveled get married.

          It isn’t that I don’t respect Western women, it is that I don’t respect what they have to offer. This is a huge difference.

          As for respecting women, I respect women very much. But, I respect them as women. Not as women who act like Men. I do not respect Western women who treat dating and sex as a sport trying to rack up so many conquests before they hit the late 30’s wall of old age and then scramble to find a Man before it is too late. This is a huge difference. Yes, it is a shock for you to read as it is for anyone who has grown in a brainwashed culture. If we look at all of your comments we can see that they are mired in stereotypes and bias:

          “You don’t like women. You like pussy. But women? You have to find them where they are treated as second class citizens so they will value you.”

          – This is a typical tactic of women who try to humiliate men for seeking some thing outside of feminist ciricles. In reality, Men are looking for a woman that they CAN respect; not a woman that thinks that giving and taking is a one way street. And if you reject this “I’m entitled to EVERYTHING” feminism, go to a foreign country to find a classy traditional Woman who wants marriage, children and to be treated with respect, then you’re some kind of pervert. No, I don’t buy it one bit.

          The only reason this twisted logic works is because Men have been continually beaten down with comments like “creepy” and such. Well, I’m here to say that you’re wrong. You’re wrong in your argument and you’re wrong to cast moral judgement on Men who don’t believe in your feminist logic. I’ve had enough of the new Western feminist morality and I’m not afraid to speak up about it.

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