While I do realize that the readership is far from being contained to America, the pun was too much to pass up.
There are many things in life that people will tell you that you cannot do. Some of these things have apparent reasons, such as eating 200 hotdogs in one sitting or trying to give a Brazilian wax job to a grizzly bear. However, if we listened to all of our critics we would hardly get anything accomplished. All reward requires risk, and making sure that the reward-to-risk ratio is favorable is the name of the game.
There are critics who believe my ability to find a quality spouse in Eastern Europe is a high-risk/low-reward scenario. I do my best to empathise with them. To them it sounds as crazy as if I told them that I was going to rent a boat, go to the Pacific Ocean and strike oil. What lacks on their part is a matter of perspective, and with that I will attempt to describe the enlightenment process to use when dealing with the two biggest arguments used against persons seeking international relationships.
“She just wants to use you.”
I’m not saying there aren’t those unscrupulous individuals out there, but people presenting this argument are saying one of two things.
- If I were her position, I would use you.
- I do not trust your ability to not get taken advantage of.
The counter to the first is to appeal to the nature of EE women in general. If there is a living example it is best to use that person as a reference, otherwise it will be a hard sell, because the only human nature the skeptic is exposed to is the Western nature. To respond to the second, you can assure the other person that you are taking appropriate precautions. You can even detail them of the measures you are taking to prevent being scammed and ask for their suggestions.
If you want to take a more proactive approach, remind the person that it is just as (actually more likely) for a woman to be using you in Western culture simply because of their marinating in Feminism for so long. Furthermore, you can always bring up the statistics involving the divorce rate domestically and internationally (over a 2:1 ratio) as well as the higher happiness ratings for overseas marriages.
“You’ll never be able to win over someone that beautiful”
Much like trying to explain the inner beauty of the EE woman, it is difficult to convey that most women in EE countries are beautiful. I would even expand that to most women -everywhere- if they didn’t have a dozen kilos of extra weight and a perma-glare affixed at all times. The best way I have to explain the concept to my critics is to have them view it as the Cold War arms race (a FSU reference most people understand).
Eastern women are competing to become the man-attracting superpower, and to let your hair down or your makeup slip for even a moment is a sign of weakness. If you want to get married in EE, you have to compete with all the other women in EE for a finite supply of marriage minded men. If everyone else is thin, put together and dressed fashionably, then you’d better be too or you’re out of the running from the get-go. They aren’t dressing to the nines every day because they want to flaunt their good looks like Western women, they do it because anything less is lower than the standard.
Note that there will be many people who you will never be able to convince. My own mother refuses absolutely to be a part of the process, instead suggesting (re: demanding, lol) that I get a dog, cat, or spend time in prayer, after all if I pray really, really hard and wait long enough, God will plop someone in my lap and we’ll be just peeerfect for each other. Let me ask on the singles forums (Christian or otherwise) how well that’s working out for them.
Most people who aren’t convinced will usually come around after you found someone. After all, who wouldn’t dream about going to some exotic locale and coming back with a beautiful feminine woman on your arm if they could. Expect jealously, the good kind, and reaffirm to them that you didn’t get lucky, you put in the work and got your butt on the plane.
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