When I first decided to search for a Ukrainian girl (how that happened is worth another post), I had set up a profile on a Ukrainian dating site other than the one promoted here. It was through a CupidMedia, affiliation that has a whole list of cultural, and interest dating sites. They are extremely legit, and free if you just want a profile, and like most, only paying, gold/platinum members can write people (unlimited communication and chat). I had just pulled the plug on another American girl who had taken me to the cleaners in many aspects, so I decided I was in. (That whole story is worth another post and bottle of red while I write it.. My life is never boring.) So I decided to go big, and I signed up for a year. (Two weeks later I was on an Antonov, leaving a trail of smoke and parts across Eastern Europe, for my first flight to Kiev).
When I first got on the site.. I was laughing like a kid in a candy store.. How could soooo many freak’n hot women be in one place?? I could not believe what I was seeing, and every profile read like this… 5’7″, 114 lbs, blonde hair, blue eyes, Masters Degree, wants to find significant other, have kids, and take care of my family” What that really means and how the girls there learn to market themselves is a whole post on its own.. but they know how to market what they have. We will discuss reading between the lines later. So back to the story….
I began sending “likes” and form emails to them left and right… Soon, I didn’t have time to answer all the daily emails I was getting from these absolute beautiful women.. It’s like a guy on a diet, let loose in a cupcake factory.. Here’s where the lessons begin… and we’ll try to break these down into their own posts later..
First off.. Once you make the decision to look into the possibility of meeting and dating an eastern girl, do an honest assessment of who you are, and what you want.. or you will get lost in labyrinth of hot Ukrainian women.. Not a bad place, but a waste of time and energy for everyone involved.. Spend your time seeking the girl who is best suited for you, and you can probably avoid a few scams. Another post another day.
Before I knew it, I had women writing me, telling me how interesting I was and how they wanted to write through personal emails outside of the site.. Like this one..
“Hello dear! I looked through your profile and I was rather interested
by you. You seem very interesting man and I want to know you. I
will be very glad to get your e-mail to get acquainted and to know
each other better. Waiting for your positive answer”
DO NOT FALL FOR THIS!! Or when they give you their email, you write them.. Stay on the site for a few emails first.. Here’s why.. There are two kinds of dating sites. Ones where it’s free to have a profile, and the paying customers can have unlimited contact (this is what you want), and the ones where they connect you with profiles, and charge you a couple of coins per letter (NEVER, NEVER sign up for this kind of situation).. There are TONs of fake profiles where the girls write you, to try to pull your email address.. then you start getting letters from girls you never heard of… They try to suck you in to paying them. If they want to write you.. I always say, “why can’t we write here for a while”? Or I offer to connect with them on Skype, which a scammer will say they don’t have access to.. Skype is of no use to the scammers, since they cannot distribute it and use it like an email address. It’s also a great way after a couple of emails to tell if your girl can communicate well enough (make sure they are not using a skype translator like Clownfish.. you don’t want a girl who cannot speak good enough English to communicate with you).
So how can you tell if the profile seems fake?? There are a couple of things I look at..
- The age.. the scammers are usually 26-29, really beautiful, perfect height and weight, with no kids. I’ve never had a 33 yr old with a kid turn out to be a scam.
- The picture.. usually a glamor shot that looks doctored, and there is rarely more than one or two pics, and no real life shots (on vacation, with kids, poor quality pics, etc..). Be aware that Ukrainian girls love to take pics. They always have a glamor shot in the mix, but the fake profiles look a bit more professional.
- Language skills.. They usually don’t list their language skill as very high. I think it’s an in later for translator help, that they want you to pay for.
- The profile is very generic, and reads like a Ms USA interview.. “I want world peace”.
- From Eastern Ukraine.. for some reason Luhans’k is bad.
- If she is young, beautiful, and too good to be true.. She is.. too good to be true. No offense.. I’m sure some of you guys are cat’s meow, but be realistic on what will make a successful match 5-20 years later..
So if you come across something you suspect, don’t send your email address. If they email with you a few-five times and it is something real, then maybe. I usually give out skype, because skype chat or conversation is a true test if they are real, and how good their English is. I don’t bother with anyone that uses a translator program, and you can usually tell. Makes for boring conversation over coffee when you just dropped $1200 to fly there and can only talk about the weather. Report the fake profile to the site and move on. One girl had written me the same form letter twice, so I wrote her from a different email address, and got the same form letter a third time, so they are out there.
Now to the interesting story.. So one of the girls I dated for a while was Marina from Odessa. She was awesome… 35, intelligent, and beautiful. When she was in university in Moscow, she used her English translation skills to work for a Russian dating agency. She told me the agency would use pictures from girls in a modeling agency to make fake profiles. The girls knew about the profiles, and would get a couple of pennies when their profile would get a hit and letters were written. Her job was to write the letters to the poor guys. She would write 20-30 letters a day, for different profiles, charging the guys to write these girls. Then when guys would come out to meet the legit girls, she would go on the dates as the translator. She, and the girl on the date, would only get paid if they stayed out for two hours or more on the date. So the goal was to keep the guy on the hook for the day. She would tell stories of 50-60 year old guys showing up on dates with 25-year-old girls. The girls were repulsed, but would go anyway for the money.. (this is why I say to choose your market carefully). I’d had girls tell me they wanted a translator to come on dates. I would immediately cancel the date and never talk to them again.
So what am I saying with this post? There are fantastic girls out there, but be aware that there are people using this multi-billion dollar industry to try to get to your money. Just be smart. Most of the girls are legit, and want to meet a good guy that is in their dating pool. They respect an older guy, but not too much older. More that 15-20 years is pushing it. Do not pay for any agency that charges for contact, beyond the regular price of an upgraded dating profile. Once you get your profile started, use your head to meet real people, who are in your range. That’s another post.. What is your target market (If you’re 50+, don’t go for 20 year olds)? Once you start talking to them, how do you keep it going? (I’m a big fan of skype).
More on all of this later…
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