Of all the emails I get at my WWS email inbox, perhaps the most asked questions are about my earlier experiences when I was single and I had just started out looking for an Eastern European Wife. I get asked if I had any failures along the way, did I have any successes, what relationships did I have and did I have any Eastern European Girlfriends. I recently posted about a scammer I “dated” and in the next few months I intend to write about some of my dating experiences so that when you go out searching for a Wife, and you run into a similar episode, you’ll have something to gauge your experience by.
I met Victoria in 2011 and I would say that our relationship was somewhat successful in that it made its way through a near evolution of chatting by email & Skype, then I went and met her and eventually we started dating. I’d go so far as to say that we were a couple until I ended it prematurely for reasons all my own ~ I’ll try to explain that in a bit.
My intent in sharing my experiences with Victoria are threefold:
1. As described above, to give you some sort of a rough battle plan when you head east.
2. To give you an idea of how Beautiful Eastern European Women are. By no means am I a Brad Pitt looking model type. So far as I’m concerned, I’m just an average looking guy who isn’t terribly fit nor terribly fat. I often suspect that my Wife tells me I’m better looking than she believes after hearing her Mother say things like, “A Man’s looks are not important. It is only important that he is slightly better looking than an ape.”
3. To give you some idea of some of the pitfalls you’ll have while dating. You very well may find yourself dating the most beautiful Woman you’ve ever met. She may feel like she is waaaaaay out of your league. You’ll be tempted to overlook bad hapits or signs of non-compatibility because you’ll believe that you’ll never have a chance to date such a beautiful Woman. That is farther from the truth than you realize; if you are dating a beautiful EE Woman and it “isn’t right,” don’t force it. Make your sincere apologies, break up and move on. It is better to love and lose a few times to find the right one than to marry the wrong Woman, get divorced and then come back here and complain that all Russian Women are scammers.
I met Victoria on one of the “less than desireable” websites. While I had (some) success using that agency it wasn’t without its problems. All in all, more than 90% of the Women I met were “professional” daters (including Victoria here). That I had any luck at all wasn’t because of the agency, it was in spite of it.
Herein lies the problem: Victoria had been – for some time – dating Western Men for “pay” and her thought process of how a relationship worked became more closely aligned with a prostitute-John relationship than a “boy meets girl” affair. Having so many Men take her out to this and that restaurant and buy expensive bottles of champagne and high dollar sushi and caviar trained her to equate a Man as a mere means to an end. If this sounds anything like the typical Western woman, you can see where I’m going with this.
It was “cool” for her to mistreat the wait-staff at restaurants; she has seen so many nouveau riche Russian tourists act this way and – because they have money – to act like an ass = I have money too. You’ll find many Eastern European Women (especially in the big “tourist” cities like Moscow, St. Petersburg, Odessa and KIev) who are ruined now in that they have jaded hearts and see Men as rolling ATM machines.
And despite the bad habits that she had picked up along the way, I would still marry her over the “best” American candidate all week long and twice on Sunday. I remember, we were in an outdoor cafe sipping Georgian wine when she suddenly blurted out that we should be married. I was quite surprised by it, especially considering that we had only been dating a short time. But she had honestly put some thought into it and – when I asked her – her logic was impeccable. She said:
You’re smart, I’m pretty. What else do we need?
Unfortunately, I was looking for more. A lot more. A colleague from work who had been happily married for 35 years said that his secret was, “To marry the right Woman.” When I asked him “who” the right Woman is, he stuck a finger in my chest and said, “When you meet her, you’ll know.”
With Victoria, I just knew. She wasn’t the right Woman for me.
A year or two later, when I met Alana, on our second or third date, I just knew.
When I broke up with Victoria, it wasn’t easy. To my eye she was everything I wanted in a Wife. But, I thought of how it would be in 5 years, 10 years and in 20. I didn’t like the picture I saw. Maybe for another Man, her personality and habits would work out just fine, but for me, I didn’t see a life of happiness and so, I broke it off. She wasn’t happy, she didn’t understand. But I was firm and I never spoke to her again. I believe it is more fair, to be honest up front and then to hold your decision and to bounce back and forth. I hoped that for her sake, this was enough.
About 2 weeks later, I saw her on the walking street in the company of an Italian or Portuguese Man (I’m guessing by the sound of his accent). She pretended not to see me and I did the same. I hope she found the “right” Man for her, and I hope that she’s happy.
Before you decide to go East to find a Wife, ask yourself, “What are you looking for?” Make a list, write it down. Study it. Add to it. In time, you’ll know EXACTLY what you’re looking for and if you don’t find it, you’ll realize it quickly and you’ll move on. Getting into a 2 or 3 year relationship with a Woman (overseas) that you aren’t going to marry is a waste of your time and not fair to her.
Do the right thing. Think with your big head, and,
Good luck in your search!
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