… as I listen and watch to our modern society “explain” that there is no difference between Men and women, I need only look to nature for some clues … in this case, at a park as we drove across the country, a Male duck (or goose) steps up to defend his lady … she eats away, seemingly unaware of the danger as “her man” is protecting her…
Below is a guest article written by Frank, his comments just below explain how he came to find this website. I am posting it as it was written and I’ll save my analysis for the comments section. I hope you enjoy the read.
I stumbled upon your blog after watching the TV show 90 Day Fiancée and looking for more info on the (very interesting) topic. One things let to another, and I spent the next few hours just reading blog entry after blog entry. It’s really a fascinating world you occupy.
One topic that comes up with regularity that seems to be misunderstood is feminism. I see from the comments that women and men’s minds are often ships passing in the night on this topic.
So, I’m offering up a guest blog entry, below, on this topic, if you can use it.
Feminism Is Shooting Itself In The Foot
The ideal woman, according to this blog, is a woman who prioritizes her husband and family above other concerns – career, friends, other aspirations. The ideal woman makes herself presentable, maintains an orderly house, and occupies a distinctly feminine role in the house.
Whenever the topic of the ideal woman comes up, there is a predictable back-and-forth in the comments section.
… beautiful and fashionable Woman in Central Russia, 2014…
Men commenters acerbically attack the idea of the modern feminist, who puts her career and personal aspirations first, only to recognize later in life that she wants a family, by which time it’s too late and she becomes embittered at the lack of quality men out there and how the deck of life is stacked against professional women. There are variations in the comments, of course, but they generally follow a similar through line.
And women commenters will lament the fact that they are being attacked for simply wanting what men have always had – access to career achievements and personal rewards – and that efforts to pigeonhole women into domestic servitude are regressive and should be shamed.
It shouldn’t be necessary to have a personal stake in a social phenomenon to comment on it, but in full disclosure, I am a married man with 2 kids. My wife is full-time working professional with a graduate degree, an Ivy League education, and she is every bit my equal.
This does not, however, mean that I advocate for the stereotypical feminist party line. Feminists will routinely pay lip service to the notion that they advocate for female choice – that women should have a right to self-determination, to decide for themselves whether they want to be housewives or career women or something in between. I say “lip service” because the right to self-determination is most commonly said with a wave of the hand, an obligatory statement that must be offered up in order to make the real statement feminists want to make, which is that women who elect a domestic role are the feminist version of an Uncle Tom, a sellout who makes the efforts of feminists fighting for career equality and such more difficult.
Feminists do themselves a disservice when they do this. There is usually thinly veiled hostility coloring the comments that feminists make. On the surface, feminist language argues in favor of inalienable rights like “equality”, “freedom of choice”, and the like. But there is a discernable, belligerent subtext to these comments that casts men, broadly, as the enemy, and society as complicit. By their choice of words and tone, feminists often cast themselves as the embattled victim, the angry activist, or any number of other roles that are unhelpful to meaningful dialogue. They are particularly unhelpful because every good guy needs a villain, and it’s not hard to conclude that you, the male in the vicinity representative of manhood (apparently) is that villain. It’s not true, of course, but it needn’t be. Individual men don’t have to be singled out as the targets of these statements. Feminist arguments are more bludgeons than scalpels; they put men on the defensive rather than starting from a place of assuming men are supportive of equality.
Which brings me to the most important point I want to make. I don’t believe women “should” be career women, nor do I believe they “should” be homemakers. I believe every woman has the right to choose the path in her life that is the best fit for her. But I also don’t believe there anything wrong with a man wanting to find and marry a woman who wants to be a career woman, or wants to be a homemaker. (This should be an uncontroversial point, but as I noted above, feminists will pay occasional lip service to it, but moments later assume that any woman who chooses a domestic life has fallen victim to society’s saddest expectations of her).
… beautiful Russian Women on their lunch break, Ekaterinburg, Russia, 2014…
The single most important determinant of marital happiness is whether both partners want the same thing. If a wife wants to play a domestic role, and a husband wants her to play a domestic role, happiness results (assuming agreement on other conditions for happiness are met…finances, desire for kids, etc.). If a husband a wife both want each other to be working professionals, happiness for both. Trouble only knocks on the door, loudly, when couples have mismatched expectations of each other.
In defense of this blog, there is nothing wrong with a man saying, “I want a woman who wants to be the domestic nucleus of a family, the women around me do not want that, and I’ve gone in search of a place where I’m more likely to find women who define happiness the same way I do.” I think the blog takes an unnecessarily combative tone sometimes (it is, after all, called “Western Women Suck”), but that doesn’t mean that the underlying philosophies are not defensible. In fact, they are at the heart of freedom – that everyone should have right to define how they want to live their life, and they should be free to pursue happiness as they wish.
Good job to you.
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