If you ever needed proof that western women are disconnected from reality and are truly spoiled:

Last night I saw a report on CNN about 30 to 40 year old women who were trying to beat their ticking biological clock.  A whole new grove of “co-parenting” websites have sprung wherein women advertise that they are looking for men to “share” the joys of having a child.  “Do it yourself sperm banks” and “insemination websites” have become all the rage in the last decade.  On these websites, male sperm donors advertise their DNA and lesbian couples and desperate women seek donors to help them have children.

For men who were interested in passing on their genes but wanted no part in actually raising a child, this seemed to the perfect answer.  For lesbian women (couples) and single women who finally realized that they won’t get married and have a child, obtaining “free sperm” from a donor is a viable way of bypassing expensive sperm banks.  A sperm bank can charge thousands of dollars – the “do it yourself” websites allow perspective donors and donees to meet and exchange bodily fluids by way of a test tube or plastic cup.

If you haven’t heard about this and you’re blushing, don’t feel “too” old being outside of today’s ever-changing parenting roles.  This has been going on for over a decade now and has produced thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of children.  You have to imagine a man, in a hotel room, bottle of lube and a video or magazine, a plastic beaker in one hand, and two anxious lesbians in the next room.  After the man makes his deposit, he hands it off to the lesbian couple.  They in turn, get into bed for some lesbian sex.  You see, female orgasm is an important component in conception (encourages the release of an egg).  So, one woman (or a woman by herself), brings the sperm recipient to climax and then inserts the sperm by means of a syringe (sans needle).  Other than being a DNA donor, the man isn’t really necessary in the whole production.  I suppose that the one advantage of co-parenting is that the kid gets a male role model in his life.  But from the man’s perspective, all the work and no play doesn’t sound like a winning proposition.

Now, if all of this seems strange to you, just wait, it gets much better.

Last night when I heard “co-parenting,” I thought that something just didn’t quite sound right.  From a man’s point of view, let’s analyze this:

You get to have a child.  If you want to be a dad, that’s a plus.

You get no sex out of the deal.  No girlfriend, no wife, no sex, you just jerk off into a jar.  Hmm, let’s go with a minus in that category.

You are on the hook financially for this kid for the next 18-21 years.  Yeah, huge minus.

I’ve got one buddy that pays $1,500 a month child support for one kid.  Lets say you only have to pay $500.  $500 x 12 x 20 = $120,000.  And that’s a low figure.  I just heard on the news last week that it costs an average of a quarter of a million dollars to raise the “average” American kid.  $250,000 to yank into a jar?  Yeah, sign me right up!

So, for one hundred and twenty thousand dollars, you get to “visit” your kid on weekends.  Hmm….  that just doesn’t sound like a winning proposition.  I can’t think of any man that would go for that proposition.  I think I’d rather try my odds with a semi-normal woman, maybe a girlfriend or marriage.  At least if our relationship makes it (maybe a 50% chance these days), I get sex on Saturday morning, right?

So I went to one of these websites, caled Modamily.  I guess this is a combination of the words Modern and Family.  If this is modern, I must be old fashioned.

I saw a photo of a pretty women and decided to click on her “ad” for a co-parent, a father for her child.

Wow, she seems pretty.  She wants me to knock her up?  Sure, why not.  But wait, let’s examine this further.  I read that she’s not looking for a “no strings” sperm donor, she’s looking for the full package.  Lets read on:

Melanie is from New York, New York, the mothership of feminism.  First strike.

She is 41 years old.  Really?  My, you only look 26 in your photo.  Second strike.

Describes herself as a professional woman who lives in Manhattan.  So, if she’s a professional woman, who’s rasing the kid?  Third strike.

If we were playing baseball, she would have struck out already.  Lets read on…

Her “hopes and dreams” reads “My hopes are that I would have a child with a man I respect and care about.  I would be able to have my own successful business in the field that I work in and I have aspirations to be the best that I can be and continue to achieve my goals in work, fitness and love.”

WTF?  41, wants to meet a man, fall in love, have a child and at the same time start and grow her own business?  This reminds me of conversations I have with my nieces and nephews, “I want to be a baseball player, an astronaut, a doctor AND an actor.”  Yeah, good luck with that list.  Working one job is hard enough, most kids lose these silly ideas by high school.  Apparently, many women never clear that hurdle.  As a professional working woman, does this woman have any clue as to the amount of work raising a child is?  Any idea how much work goes into starting a business?  Reminds me of a buddy’s x-wife who wanted (in no particular order) a graduate degree, a job, a child and to run her own business.  When all of these goals were met and it still didn’t fill that “feminist” hole in her soul, she cheated on him with another man.  Sound like anyone women you know?

Strike 4.

In her “weaknesses,” she says, “I can be impatient and get snippy with people when I’m upset…”  I wonder how often she’s “upset,” my Spidey-senses tell me that its “all the time.”

Strike 5.

What is she looking for?  “I am looking for a laid back, considerate, respectful, gentleman who is looking to have children and being serious about caring for a child.  This person has to be financially secure, not struggling to make ends meet.  He has to be healthy, happy and willing to have at least one child.  I prefer this person to be healthy and in good shape and cares about eating right and staying fit.”

Wow, is that all?

That’s a pretty tall order for a 41 year old woman who’s biological clock is ticking louder than London’s Big Ben.  Is this woman serious?  The only “financially independent” men I know are those in their late 40′s til their 70′s or else rich kids.  What 45 year old man is going to want a 41 year old prima donna when he can go to Ukraine or Russia and date a 26 year old who wants a family but isn’t going to fight you for your paycheck and control of the house.

Strike 6.

But wait, isn’t this a co-parenting website?  Yes, but I guess they come in all flavors here.  On Modamily.com, I found women who wanted a sperm donor “no strings attached,” some women who wanted a man who would leave a DNA deposit and then pay “full child support” with limited visitation, some who wanted “limited financial support” and some who wanted full relationships like the woman above.

When I read this woman’s description I can’t help but laugh.  As a 41 year old woman, what is she bringing to the table?  She’s past her “prime” when it comes to looks and if her photo is 15 years old, it is likely that today she is as big as a house.  Yet, she thinks that she’s going to find some good-looking wealthy man to get her pregnant, pay the baby’s bills & then probably have to change the diapers and feed the kid because she is trying to start up her own business.  It is the equivalent of a fat guy who smokes a lot of pot who lives with his mom advertising that he wants to date super models.

It is just amazing how delusional American women are.  But its probably our own fault, American men chase after these women and kiss their asses.

If you haven’t traveled out of America to see what is available, get out there!  Go and see what non-Western women are like.  You won’t regret it!

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